Tuesday, November 4, 2008


Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Why Obama?

Here are a few reasons to clarify why I believe voting for Barack Obama is the correct decision.
As you may have noticed, this election has generated an unprecedented interest in the American system of Democracy. Not since the Nixon/McGovern race have we as a country had such strong opinions and intrigue in who we choose as our leader.
A vast number of Americans have grown disenchanted and lethargic about our government, our electoral process, our leaders, our supreme court and generally our country.
America is falling into the later stages of Democracy and freedom, best described as such:
The Average age of the worlds greatest civilizations from the beginning of history, has been about 200 years. During those 200 years, these nations always progressed through the following sequence

1. From bondage to spiritual faith;
2. From spiritual faith to great courage;
3. From courage to liberty;
4. From liberty to abundance;
5. From abundance to complacency;
6. From complacency to apathy;
7. From apathy to dependence;
8. From dependence back into bondage.

As of now we Americans fall somewhere around complacency and apathy.
Voting for Obama and what he represents is at least a step in the right direction, as it is a step away from apathy.
I am not looking forward to dependence or bondage.

Obama, to me represents choice, diversity and difference. America is no longer a Caucasian Christian country. America is now a DIVERSE country. Although those of us living in isolation would never guess, as we tend to live amongst groups of people we feel comfortable around.
We are now representative to the world as an experiment in cross cultural diversity.
If anyone is uncomfortable with that may I suggest Canada?
Also we are no longer the leader of the free thinking Western world in terms of health care, creativity, technology, innovation, progress and a myriad of other categories. We are trying to hang on to our Old America of the prosperous late 1940's and 50's. We have now become the Al Bundy or Uncle Rico of the world, desperately clinging to our high school football days.
We need to stop thinking about high school football and move on to where we are now and where our next great victory will come from.
Not a victory from war or conflict, but perhaps a moral victory or an intellectual victory.
We are going to have a revolution of some kind in the near future.
My hope is that our revolution is not one of blood and violence, but one of change and acceptance of what we can achieve.
Hatred, intolerance, corruption, greed, lethargy, complacency, closed thought and ignorance need to be stopped.
Will electing Obama do this?
100% absolutely not a chance in hell of doing this.
But steering in the direction of change is the right thing to do.
Voting for another surly old white republican will not change anything.
I honestly care about America, I was born and raised here, it saddens me to see it fall apart, not unlike a drug addicted friend or relative. I hate to see America hurting itself and standing back and watching without intervening makes you just as guilty.
So are we going to keep keep feeding America its drugs in the form of John McCain? OR to we take America to the Barack Obama center for Democratic Rehabilitation?

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Church and State

I think it would be awesome if a totally imaginary man in the sky ran our Government.
That's the way it should be.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Post Hipster America

The answer to the often pondered question of whats next after the hipster rebellion/bike messanger brigade passes, has come to light.
And it is Steampunk.
Bare with me now.

This had been right in front of our faces and just below radar for awhile now.
Get ready for the explosion. In my opinion this will tear through America in 2009 and be mostly done with by 2010.
In keeping with certain aspects of "trendiness" this fad falls right in line with the key ideals that form a trendy fad trend that effects dress, music and attitude as well as myriad other aspects of culture.
Steampunk has:
1. DIY mentality- IN FULL EFFECT these people spend hard time and effort making their crazy contraptions and gear. This 100% falls in line with the Pabst bike messanger theme of patchwork clothing and handbuilt "fixies". (You can call them Fixie Pixies if you like). The Steampunk thing takes this to a whole new level, I have seen some CRRAZY contraptions/bikes.
As well as being the next step to the "Dirty Baby" thing that VICE has been advocating for some time now.
2. The originality/superiority complex- You know how this goes often stated with this phrase "I HAVE BEEN LIVING THIS FOR YEARS NOW AND IT PISSES ME OFF THAT IT HAS BECOME MAINSTREAM... etc etc." Which pisses me off BTW. Shut up you trend monkey victim.
Steampunkishness is also a complete reaction to the overly techy corporate world we created. (Burning man?)
3. The One Step Further Aspect- Hipster garb was out there, Steampunk garb is WAAAAY out there. After going to the HONK parade in Cambridge this weekend I was certain this is where trends are headed.HONKFEST
As a side note on the one step further thing, this is bringing about a new batch of hairy chics so be careful to do the full inspection before you get one home and she drops the dreaded PITHAIR bomb on ya. (Do you follow through on this? I am not sure of the protocol.)
4. Music Culture- There is a definite "brass band" funk Vaudville thing going on with this one. I went to go see Man Man about 6 months ago (Who are awesome to say the least) and I did not even realize this was part of the next wave. How naive!
Each dude in the band plays like 9 instruments (some hand made, some found).
So there it is feel free to elaborate or retort, but we will all be seeing more of this in our malls and on our shelves for us to purchase, embrace, make fun of, be aware of, criticize, ridicule, love, hate and laugh at.

[editors note]
I am well aware that this entry comes off as pompous.
Am I better than trends- and "cooler" than you.
Probably not. I have been a harsh victim of some really nasty trends in the past.
I wore skids, I listened to Bell Biv Devoe I rocked Caffeine pants with mad straps at numerous raves, I ride bikes, I listen to hip hop etc... The list goes on and on.
I just choose the middle of the road most of the time rather than balls to the wall full out embracing of fashion/culture trends. I don't like my outward appearance to fully dictate how I am perceived (to an extreme extent.) Which could be considered weak, or smart depending on which side of the debate you fall on.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Oh No! Johnny Rotten

Johnny Rotten now does butter commercials link

Hello apocalypse my name is Chuck.


Google maps plus album art equals sweet deal link

Thursday, September 18, 2008

John McCain

Please do not let this man become our evil overlord.

The Evil That Lurks

This is what she would look like if lies and power-hunger reflected outward appearance.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Hipster Crossing

Let me tell you,
it's relatively difficult to get hipster gunk out of your grill.
sometimes they do significant damage too, especially the big ones.
So look twice.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Monday, August 25, 2008

Joker Biden

Maybe because Batman is still top of mind,
or maybe because he's old.
But I think Joe Biden has a striking resemblance to the Joker.
I am still totally voting for this guy, but man.
And remember not to vote based on the way people look you ignorant fool.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Darwin in Harvard Sq!

There he is again!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Laught Till I cry Again

Damn you! People with too much time creativity and You tube!

Thursday, July 10, 2008


Found this gem in the Metro today.
Let's go over the key points:
1. This is apparently in the Necrophilia section of the paper? I hope its not next to the obituaries, as that could be disastrous.
2. Having sex with dead people only got voted down 5-2 in Wisconsin, which means there are two appointed judges who had the "Eh, fuck it" attitude towards this topic.
3. Reason number 1,249 why i will not move to Wisconsin
4. I guess the main reason for the decision was "dead people can't give consent", and not because its fucking disgusting and deranged and demented and crazy.
5. Does this mean people will have the right to have their tombstones engraved with things such as "Feel free to Fuck my dead body." and that would make it OK?
6. This person who fucked the corpse had two freinds who were apparently good enough freinds to help this guy out? WTF. How does that conversation go? "Dude what are you doing this weekend? Nothing? Oh can you help me dig up someone to fuck?

Monday, July 7, 2008

Fast Food=Bad

If you can't read the sign

I think that all fast food establishments should come with warnings.

Thursday, June 26, 2008


I am all about the free market entrepreneurial spirit but I think this place takes it too far, and for once I am serious.
I don't know how or why Mississippi allowed the opening of a chain of fetus taco places, but it is a disgrace and they should be closed down FOREVER.
That's my 2¢.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Drunk Douchebag Lookin to Score!

The Scene: As all the bars on State St close for the night at 2am.
The Talent: Wasted Girl and Douchebag Danny
The Scenario: Looks like someone will be waking up with no pants on and no recognition of who took her home from the bar. Hopefully this kid gets raped in jail.
Where are her friends!?!!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Hooters Turns 25

So Americas beloved Hooters chain turns 25 this year!
Isn't that awesome! Good for Hooters!
It's great to know that a chain restaurant can survive in America.
I always worry about chain restaurants, but 25 years of Hooters is proof that if you have the drive and will to succeed in the "chain game" you really can.
OK enough sarcasm.
This Hooters thing raises many questions for me.
Wanna see some, you can even discus them on your own if you like.
1. Is the original Hooters all saggy now?
2. Are any of the original girls still Hootin' it up for tips?
Or have they moved on other things?
3. Maybe some of them went to corporate?
4. Some of the girls who work there now, were not even alive when the original one opened, so do you think there is a mother daughter pair working there?
5. How do they fire old chics?
6. Do they have a no fat chic policy? or do the fat chics get Monday lunch shifts?
7. Based on the success of Hooters, do you think I should open up a "Packages" which is FOR the ladies, if you get my drift.
8. Do they have a Hooters hall of fame?
9. If they do, how many girls named Cheryl are in it? And do they retire bras and bra sizes? Would there be numbers on the wall (like in baseball) 36DD for example?
10. Most importantly do they have another 25 years left in em? I think all the Hooters around here went under?

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

The Audacity Of Dope

This is Obama just straight killin shit after the voting closed on Super Tuesday,
my man was illin'. Dude juggled If I ruled the world for like 10 mins, Mad skills.
I am 100% voting for this MF. BAD ASS DUDE.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Friday, February 1, 2008

On Fire Alarms

These are the fire alarms in my office.
I often read too deeply into things.
But is this a black dude running from the pointy white flames of racism?
and the company that makes these is EST. Establishment maybe?

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Social Security Is Running Out!

Don't worry Americans!
The powers that be have figured out the answer to the ever diminishing social security pool.
We give you the Bacon Blanket!
If we can get all the Boomers to eat these everday, everyone will be dead by 55!
America Rules!

Wednesday, January 23, 2008


this thing is awesome.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Take Time For The Little Things

I this fast paced, instant oatmeal, email, crack addicted world we live in, you must not forget to take the time for the little things like bludgeoning a muppet to death.
Or smelling roses or something.

Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Study Results Are In

In a recent survey conducted by The Lyle Institute, it was found that crosseyed people have a 58% less chance of getting a drink at a bar than most "normal" eyed people.
The main problem seems to be the inability to make direct eye contact with the bartender.
When asked to comment on the study results Margo Pooter replied
"I hate ya'll straight gazers with your perfect vision and above average looks, I likes to get me a drink just like ya'lls but the 'tender be thinking I am talking to the cigarette machine."
Results will be published in this months issue of Awkward Gaze.