This is pretty awesome.

Social Security Is Running Out!

Don't worry Americans!
The powers that be have figured out the answer to the ever diminishing social security pool.
We give you the Bacon Blanket!
If we can get all the Boomers to eat these everday, everyone will be dead by 55!
America Rules!

awesome.

this thing is awesome.
http://www.tony-b.org/

Take Time For The Little Things

I this fast paced, instant oatmeal, email, crack addicted world we live in, you must not forget to take the time for the little things like bludgeoning a muppet to death.
Or smelling roses or something.

Study Results Are In

In a recent survey conducted by The Lyle Institute, it was found that crosseyed people have a 58% less chance of getting a drink at a bar than most "normal" eyed people.
The main problem seems to be the inability to make direct eye contact with the bartender.
When asked to comment on the study results Margo Pooter replied
"I hate ya'll straight gazers with your perfect vision and above average looks, I likes to get me a drink just like ya'lls but the 'tender be thinking I am talking to the cigarette machine."
Results will be published in this months issue of Awkward Gaze.